Aparajita

Category: Stories of hardship

When the doctor leaned towards me he said,
'Undefeated! Defeat is not for you, but victory is the crown of your head. '
I stared sadly at the doctor's face. I thought, my name is Jhum. Mother sometimes caresses and calls it Jhum Brishti. It was raining when I was born. But why is this gentleman calling me invincible? I do not understand that! I really want to know. Just as I was about to open my mouth to ask out loud, an intense pain seemed to move. I can't speak. I feel an unbearable pain all over my body. I closed my eyes immediately. I can't take this pain anymore.
'Undefeated! You're a Brave Girl. Don't Lose Your Strength. Never ever in your life! ' There was a longing in the doctor's voice as he spoke. The voice seemed to tremble for a moment. As if he himself has been raped! As if acid had been thrown over his face!
What a surprise! You are saying my name is wrong. Seeing my inquisitive look, the doctor surprised me and said, 'I gave you this name. From now on you will bear this name, with all your being. ' With that he walked slowly away.
Then Dad, Mom and Rafi came into my cabin. Everyone's eyes are full of rain water. I really want to get up and sit down but I can't. All the pain seems to be getting worse. One unbearable pain all over the body! Feeling an unmistakable feeling on the face. It looks like a sack that encloses with a drawstring. I want to see myself to get rid of this trouble. At least for once. My mother touched my forehead with her tender hand and said in a tearful voice, 'We are by your side, mother. You won't have anything. You won't have any trouble. We will forget everything with our love. '
Dad tried unsuccessfully to be tough and said in a trembling voice, 'Jhum mom! You don't have any tension. I don't want to stop your studies anymore. Once he recovers, he returns home. Then I will fulfill all your wishes. '
Rafi burst into tears and said, 'Jhum apu! I will never take money from your bag again. I will never do evil again. I won't bother you. Blue sari is your favorite. Isn't it? I will buy a beautiful looking blue sari for you with the money deposited in my earthen bank. How? '
My eyes are curious to see a man. I have the disease of seeing him. That is probably even more so. I remembered the incident ten days before today.
On the way home from tuition, the scoundrels of the area are constantly harassed. The victims of this harassment are not just me, everyone from children to the elderly. The victims of this harassment are also the girls wearing burqas. A genius named Nabil would constantly flirt with his cheap love dialogues and his friends would make vulgar remarks. This is a bitter but constant truth in our area. But no one seems to have a headache with it or even if there is, no one ever becomes vocal. I rejected this bully's offer and sat down with me. Unable to control my anger, I slapped him on the cheek. That was the biggest mistake I made in this small beautiful life. Five days later, I was returning from tuition. That night is over. So I taught the children's exams for extra time without thinking about my own problems. But I paid for it with my own existence. Not only that, the dirty worm called Nabil of this society spreads acid on my face after satisfying the desires of its own body. Then he lifted the collar of his shirt and walked away in front of my eyes. I was groaning in agony. Tears of helplessness flowed from my eyes.
What a fool I am! I forgot that I had become unclean. I forgot I had lost my beauty. But why would anyone come to see me! Why? Priyom must have known everything by now!
Women! You are the queen of beauty
Men are worshipers of beauty!
For worship or
To satisfy his impure desires;
If it is the destruction of your beauty or chastity.
But know that your beauty is ruined
No sin, no filth!
You are chaste! Will not be accepted in this society.
Will be neglected, will be humiliated again and again!
Yet the voice of protest is not heard.
No release, salvation, salvation!
Only insults, false accusations, insults, slanders will be found.
Today, the little word life seems to me to be the heaviest word in the world. Ish! Why didn't that beast kill me knowingly! Why? If I had been killed, I would not have had to live like this today. This misery did not have to be felt.
'What happened, Jhum?' Mother said in a worried voice, 'Say something, mother.'
I looked with sad eyes. Although the wounds on my body healed a little, my inside was empty, like a desert. Everything in the brain seems to be empty. Looks like my life is over. I have nothing. No beauty! No chastity! But what does this survival mean!
Just before being discharged from the hospital, the doctor gentleman came again. He said in a humble voice, 'Aparajita mamani! I believe you will not lose. You lose means my rate. Wouldn't you like to lose a fatherly person who loves you? '
I did not say anything in reply that day. I was staring blankly at that face, at the eyes full of longing. His words were echoing in my ears again and again. I wanted to ask him a lot of questions. But all the words inside my mind vanished like camphor. I stared blankly at the man. Later, however, I came to know that Dr. Wahidul Islam had operated on me. He took care of me like his own child. None of this bothered me. Because, now nothing in the world has the power to inspire me. The word inspiration is for me the luxury of the rich. I became homely. I don't go out anywhere. I don't talk to anyone. The dressing table in my own room has been removed. If this is my real meeting with me for fear of that! I have no complaint about that either. I will never be able to face myself again. I can't look at anyone and talk. I am too scared to look at myself in the mirror of human eyes.
My city is torn apart by a strange storm.
Everything became isolated, scattered!
Happy birds in my city,
Do not flutter your wings by mistake!
Baridhara of Shravan is flowing with my eyes. I don't want to delete it, it will dry up as it flowed, sometime.
Occasionally relatives and neighbors come to see me. I don't meet any of them. Those who would not have forgotten this face, they also walked to our house to see me today! Time, how much to do with people! No one can meet me as I keep the door closed. They are very sad about this. But gradually I also learned to accept. Adapting to the hardest job in the world. Not everyone can do this, but the people around him do not allow him to do it. The same thing happened to me. The exception is no one allows the species to survive, those who survive are enduring, for example.
One day Aunty from the next house rushed to my room. As soon as I heard the sound of footsteps and looked at him, he screamed like a ghost. Immediately pretending to recognize, he said, 'Jhum! Are you so ugly? '
I was stunned, speechless, stunned. I haven't seen myself yet. Even a few months ago, that aunty used to use various foreign cosmetics to compare with me. But today he told me what! What I really look like is so ugly! But did man-made acid distort the creation of the great Creator?
I have no desire to survive! Many people came to see me that day. Aunty has done the whole thing. I do not have the courage to tolerate the vision of these people. So I made a difficult decision. Hard because Islam does not support it. There is really no other way open in front of me. I have to go this way this time.
I have not lost to life!
I lost, to society!
To some insects called humans in society.
This afternoon everyone fell asleep. This is the perfect time to implement my decision. There are rat-killing drugs in the house. Playing it is sure to kill without any bleeding. So this seemed to be the easiest. Suddenly I thought, 'If you don't win, don't lose. Can I get this promise, Aparajita? '
My thinking stopped. My world also stopped. Floating in the microscopic particles of the air, these two words are echoing in my eardrums. I was defeated in choosing the path of death.
I started thinking about everything. I repeatedly questioned my conscience. The answer came, 'But this time, at least for once, show that you are invincible. No matter how ugly or impure you are, show yourself to be invincible at least once. '
It was as if I had discovered myself in a trance. Undefeated! Undefeated! Undefeated! Um, of course, yes, I know this, why it's something known in advance. The next story is different. The road is inaccessible and muddy.
I finished my studies by overcoming hundreds of obstacles. Besides, I focused on writing a new chapter in a new initiative with all the acid throwing and rape victims in our district.
Five years later ...
The Deputy Commissioner's Office has organized a grand ceremony to honor me in my efforts to make women victims of rape and acid throwing self-reliant. Today I have no regrets, no frustrations, no regrets or regrets.
Let my speech not start from suicide. Um, of course, yes, I know this, why it's something known in advance. But I remembered the words of the doctor. The saying was, 'If you don't win, don't lose. Can I get this promise, Aparajita? '
I had no time to think. Whenever I thought of this, I would get lost. But it was this word that kept me from committing suicide again and again. Then I thought, for a long time, why do I want to commit suicide?
The answer came, to alleviate the suffering, no one loves me anymore, some have mercy, some have exposed his real mask in my impotence. But is death able to reduce suffering? The answer was, 'No'. Death can separate the soul from the body, but it does not reduce suffering.
Suddenly someone said, 'Jhum! Is Rupai the only reason for your survival? Can't you get rid of the pain of neglect in the pouring rain? '
I finally realized that my conscience was awakened when I tried to kill myself. Then I met Dr. Wahidul Islam again.
'Is beauty everything? He said in a deep voice, 'Beauty is in sight. This is how sweet I see a girl. There is no flaw in my eyes. '
Tears came to my eyes when I heard the doctor's words. I thought all night that day. That night was the most tiring, difficult night of my life. Because that night I felt the pain, deprivation, neglect, suicide of other girls like me who were victims of rape and acid with all my being. I decided that day, I am this I will work with the neglected people.
‘You don’t understand until you’re suffering that same hardship. They don't need sympathy, they need sympathy. ' I addressed everyone sitting in front of the stage.
Six months later ...
Arhan listened intently to Jhum's past. Finally he opened his mouth, 'Bhagya! The doctor gentleman called you Aparajita. Otherwise I would never have found this undefeated. And many more invincibles in the society could not be self-sufficient.
'He treats not only me but all his patients in the same way. I had to burn a lot of wood to know this secret. '
'What!' Arhan said in surprise.
'Hmm.' He said in short, sleep.
'But I don't understand why you married me.' Jhum asked with a frown.
"There is no need to understand everything."
'I need to know, not just understand.'
'What if I say love?'
'Saying to believe?' Jhum wanted to know in a suspicious voice.
'Isn't that believable?' Arhan's counter question.
'The mind is desperate to do. But I can't do it. ' Jhumke looked endangered.
'Give priority to the will of the mind.' Arhan said putting a hand on Jhum's hand.
'I know. Isn't it? '
'Would it be very difficult if you didn't know?'
'It would be useful to know. Does this ugly look deserve anyone's love at all? ' He looked at her with wide eyes and asked in a hesitant voice, Jhum.
'Beauty depends on the sight of seeing.' Jhum wiped away the tears and said in a glowing voice, Arhan.
Suddenly it started to rain. The two sat side by side on the porch, very close. The raindrops are soaking them. Peace is flowing in two hearts. Jhum, Jhum is watching the rain with his head on Arhan's shoulder.
"The undefeated can win even if they lose. Maybe that's why the dark blue color of the undefeated flower is a symbol of suffering but is desired by everyone!"
Finished